THERE’S MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES
ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING POCKET ASTRAL PLANE
Monday Afternoon- DM Andy
We were all there in the bar; Arelia, Gwen, Sameera, Ollie, TKW, Lexus, Mayri and me. We were sharing tales of our adventures (Mostly Ollie, he is quite strange and talks a great deal)…when boom! We immediately were transported to some other alternate Astral plane, with the bar!
It was dark and quickly, we discovered we were out in space, with no way to get back to the material plane. TKW began calming the patrons and Emissary Sameera quickly began the process of interviewing patrons to find out who the traitor was…is? Would’ve been? Anyways, I went out into space and found out that gravity didn’t work, flames flickered on, and lost one of my shoes along the way. Maybe I’ll steal the gnomes’ new shoes, remind me later.
Come to find out space snakes are QUITE rude. The life oracle did her sonic boom blast to signify danger, as is standard measure for all life oracles, when the snakes who stole my shoe ended up swarming the bar in this space domain.
I did everything correctly and did not lead to any injuries or snakes getting into the bar. Not me. The Magus is quite nice, she gave me some gold glitter dust. Ollie started breathing fire again, and TKW began thwacking his sword all over the place as Mayri chopped snake bits here and there.
And there sat the little bardish gnome construct, on the dancefloor, looking smug as the little shit he was. Sameera quickly discovered his true identity. They shouldn’t make constructs who smile, that’s just my personal preference. It makes me angry and upset, they don’t need to convey their shittiness to the rest of us.
I overheard the oracle and the cleric began arguing over something I didn’t understand, I had eaten some bad sausage this morning, so I ended up getting quite the stomach ache and vomiting hornets AGAIN. From what I overheard, the cleric was saying something about “ You’re going to soundburst AGAIN?!” Knowing the oracle, it makes sense, a part of her deity’s call is to make “ a great noise” unto her lord, so she does this spell with frequency.
Eventually, we destroyed the other snakes, and were sent back to the material plane. A hardly veiled threat was heard by the cleric and Ollie demanding that we “stop what we’re doing” in Keltesarian.
I do not know about you, but being told not to do something is the surest way to get me to do it….