Corsairs of the Caras Shallows

DM Ryan, Arcturus, Cornelius, Mireyi, Lexius, and GramZ
  • psion jump into Phylactery
  • demon door riddle (love)
  • library, 4 wings
  • hard media had souls of previous people
  • science and tech had that
  • history had life experiences of all lives previous
  • rare books had seeeeeeecrets
  • previous lives: hellion greenwinter, borak ironheart, jeffrey, miss valise van buren, jorgan (dwarven blood king/god), valyon, amerellia, sillyion, kennath, and issac
  • farthest name back is Loloindir Telemnar, elven spy master lady of elvaris.
  • issac plan. Blow up mackral jacks island, use crystal and vondra.
  • he’s a she.
  • she knows mackral Jack and is working with him against us
    *she LOVES Terran and wants to live everything. Went lich and is disguising to be the best at everything.
    *She hates loosing BAD
    *fears losing her emotions, especially her love
    *to destroy the Phylactery it has to be laid at the feet of the current king of elvaris and smashed with a mithral dildo.
  • In order to get something done, one of them had to sacrifice a part of themselves, they had to give up memory. Gramzee offered to give up the memory of her kids since she forgets them anyway and has lived a nice long senile life. At the last moment, Lexius grabbed the hand and took the offer and is now a female human who forgets the memories of his dear blunderbuss brothers.
Blood orgy
DM Andrew: Thadius, Gwen, Rontor, TKW. 8/1 afternoon

•After the explosion of Vondra’s hut, the crew rounded up 6 mysterious bodies in the rubble. One was discovered to be wearing Mackerel Jack’s symbol.

•Inspection of ground zero showed Vondra was protected by some sort of sphere, but it wasn’t clear if she cast it or not.

•Vondra’s scrying crystal was discovered and used to track her Mackerel Jack’s island.

•The scry also showed Jack’s men working with Isaac’s men.

•They entered a large cave on the back side of the island, traveled for at least a mile and came to a large chamber they believed to be under the center of the island.

•Vondra was found unconscious. The chamber was outlined with runes and the floor cross crossed with blood channels. The center contained a giant crystal.

•Upon seeing us, Vondra’s wrist was cut by an arcane caster. When her blood hit the channels on the floor, a wraith rose from the ground. Each time more blood came in contact with the ground, more wraiths were called into being.

•At the end of battle, the caster teleported away. We began attacking the crystal in the center of the room because…why not. Just as the crystal was breaking apart, Vondra awoke, cast a greater teleport, and whisked is away as the crystal exploded.

Carlis slavers caught on tape
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Saturday August 1st 2015, Afternoon game
DM: Josh
Objective: Bring back proof that Carlis is using slave labor
PCs: Sameera, Salty Peete, Superleadfoot Tony, Jarg, Mitch


  • We were given the location of another mountain base in Carlis where slaves were being forced to make stuff
  • Our first plan was to gather independent observers from neutral cities and take them with us
  • We managed to get four observers to agree to risk their lives by accompanying us
  • The group teleported to a location near the base
  • We waited for a full day to see if anyone came in or out, but no one did
  • At this point we finally realized that one of Isaac’s recording devices would be better
  • We teleported to Mackerel Jack’s and met up with Mitch’s contact Rat
  • Rat arranged a meeting with the guy who makes the devices for Issac, and Mitch went alone and in disguise
  • The guy agreed to make one for us, but it took a few days
  • While we waited we staked out the base some more, but still didn’t see anyone go in or out
  • Sameera plane shifted Mitch, Salty Pete and herself to the ethereal plane so we could try to scout the base
  • It turned out that the walls of the base were warded to only let people of a certain alignment through
  • Mitch and Salty Pete were able to fool the ward into letting them through
  • We scouted the entire base and plane shifted back to the material
  • Once we had the recording device, Mitch and Salty Pete teleported into the base
  • Mitch unlocked the door, which set off an alarm
  • Mitch started to work on disabling the other defenses on the door (automatic guns) but the alarm was drawing attention and we were attacked
  • Tony, Jarg, and Sameera tried to move up to the door from their hiding spot, but were taking heavy fire from the automatic guns
  • The group got split up and no one really knew what to do
  • Mitch, Sameera and Salty Pete ended up in the main foundry of the base fighting the people in charge
  • Tony and Jarg decided to get the observers to safety
  • After a very tough battle, the bad guys tripped a panic button and teleported out
  • We ended up with one prisoner and about a dozen freed slaves
  • The Carlis army showed up and we were forced to teleport out with our prisoner, and as many slaves as possible
  • We got a recording of everything that happened inside the base
Hippo Bad Times Part II

DM Ryan

Friday Night game

Players: Cornelius, Finneus, Thadeus, Gram Z, Maiyri

  • MIssion was to investigate strange hippo attacks at gnome airship docks
  • Upon arrival, each PC was to control a smaller seafaring ship that could shoot cannons at the collosal ( technically, collosal x 5) hippo
  • Ships did lots of damage!!! Also, the gnome used Glitterdust and it worked! The Hippo went blind, and his lazer eyes were nulled. Good job, Bard!

*Eventually weakened the hippo down to the point where the hippo retreated into the forrest. Finneus used his sweet Survival skills, rubbing hippo poop on his nose.

  • After that, we found the hippo. Maiyri kicked the living shit out of the hippo after delivering 2 successve critical hits wth her axes.
  • After the hippo died, he rose briefly, resembling the same stance that Vondra’s spell solicited last year???
  • Body of Twerkules is currently being carried by Cornelius and Thaddeus in their vials and bags of holding ( the body parts are divied up)
  • Legend Lore was cast the following day and no new info was learned regarding Twerkules
Quest for Shiney Black thingies
Black Onyx

7/28 Morning
DM Ryan
Rontor, Guen, Cornelius and Thadeus

Dear Diary,

I volunteered to go to the onyx mines with the the one that grows larger, and the two little funny men. We landed on the island and ran into a hallow serpent. While the kidlike funny men and the one that grows large buffed, I hit the serpent until it was about to collapse. Then the stupid large one swooped in, stole my kill, and acted like he had worked so hard. Sigh….But it’s okay because I was able to disarm the monster and take the arms back with me for Gram-Zee. As we carried on, we were stalked by an extremely shy horse. it would have been nice to have a horse so my shoes wouldn’t have become so damaged, but the insensitive oaf of a dwarf was too impatient to let the funny little childlike men take care of the tracking. We finally arrived at the mine entrance where the kids and one that grows larger argued about how we were going to go in.. I suggested light and just go, but only Gram-Zee seems to have as much sense of adventure as I. When we finally agreed that I was right, we entered the cave. We encountered two golems, and for some reason the oaf a dwarf took an awful long time to break them. If that wasn’t enough, I waste too many spells trying to heal the stubborn imbecile. If that wasn’t enough, the golems were wearing bandoleers of hands. Once the bandoleers broke the creepy hands started crawling under their own volition. Creepy is a mild description as the thing grabbed a hold and would not let go. It was squeezing and it hurt and stuff. There isn’t enough alcohol in a bar to clean the filth off. Wiggle and daggers, daggers and wiggles and the oaf finally stepped up to do his damn job.
Once we dispatched with the golems we needed to go further into the mines to investigate further. The cute kids greased the wheels and axles and convinced the oaf to make himself useful and push our cart. Better than any ride I have ridden before is all i am saying. I have done the flying gliders thing, I have done other flying stuff, I have done all kinds of rides but this mine cart experience with hair in the wind, the kids screaming and holding on for dear life. I was worried one of us would toss our cookies do to the extreme speed and such, but the dancing bard calmed out stomachs enough that my outfit was saved from certain pukage thank Desna. The oaf managed to defeat several more golems. At first I was impressed until he showed his lack of adventure yet again by not opening the door of a room that was completely destroyed. Probably destroying very valuable information. For the sake of Desna, what does he think that raise dead pot is for. It’s to throw caution to the wind, and be invincible. We did however manage to get a lot of the black shiny bling that we came for.
We took our onyx bling to the worshipers of the God of the Undead. One of the kids bragged all the way there that he was an amazing at wheeling and dealing, only to find out that he may be more of an oaf then the one that grows large. Gram-Zee or Maiyri would have done a much better job of negotiations. We could have used Gram-Zee’s charm or Maiyri’s wonderful “asking” abilities. I must make a mental note to try to go with them on their next adventure so that they can do it correctly next time. In the mean time I am off to buy new shoes and a new outfit yet again.

Down with the BlackrobefookerKhaleed

Friday Morning
DM Andy
Rontor, Ollie, and Sameera

  • Khaleed is in the desert in red dragon lair
  • Rontor, Ollie, and Sameera word of recall to imperial City and wait for Pelonius to bring airship
  • Rontor and Ollie pay for research and spend a lot of time “working on said research” by getting drunk for three straight days
  • Rontor growing increasingly nervous about the robes in the imperial city and the two of them make a list of things to be worried about
  • The group knows that they should be worried about:
    Red Dragons (of which Ollie is one)
    Surprise and fear
    ruthless efficiency
    Dragon Fear
    Political intrigue
    Black Robes
    Kheltesarians (of which Sameera is one)
    Sneaky cacti
    Recepie Stealers
    Eerie Quiet
  • Find cave
  • sneak into cave
  • destroy two iron golems
  • kill two blue dragons
  • Khaleed dies of natural causes
  • rises as a wraith
  • loots, Ollie and Rontor peace out to the shallows
  • Sameera grbas some scales, teeth, and Khaleed’s body and word of recalled to the imperial city

Dear Uncle Eddy,
The Black robes, still be fookin problems. They whole city be looking for me and I think most of the city be trying to kill me. It be a good thing that Ollie be watching me back, as they even used a ploy of distracting me with beer and a brewery. I fell for the trap but this was not the trap I was worried I was going to fall for. Ollie and now love us some libraries. The things be fooking magic. Pay some gold and get some info, and spend the whole day drinking. Da fisrt day of research netted some info about ozzes and flan. The whole discussion made us really really hungry, but before we ate any jelly donuts we had to test to see if they were really made out of oozes which were being used by the black robes as a means of them trying to kill me. We need wooden bludgening weapons to destroy de’ oozes and some spells be working better than others.
The second day netted info about the blood runes and such. Do third give ollie and i a list of all the spells that make use of all the necromantic spells that be making use of onyx.
Pelorius dropped us off a few hours away from where we thought the cave was. We trecked through the sofa king hot desert and it spent us but a day to find the entrace to the red dragoon lair. The entrance to the lair be protected by evocation, necromancy, and abjuration spells. I sundered said spells and we proceeded down de’dungeon path. We then came upon a door guarded by two rion golems. With a silence spell and an ass whopin on the me hind quaters we broke the golems and were able to access the doors. It took me a few tries but once I broke the abjuration we tried opening the metal barred gate. After a couple of tries I lifted the iron barred gate, Ollie and I broke the door and alarm, necromantic spella nd lightning went off. As I was holding the gate open, two dragons jolted us with lightning breath weapons. Ollie, Sameera, and I went through the door and engagdged the dragons in battle. A necromancer raised one dragon, and sucked the sould from the other. With displacement, improved invisibility, disintegrate, finger of death, glitter dust, and other dasterdly deeds, the balc robe proved to be the force I was nervous about. I was not able to destroy him and he died of natural causes, only to be raise himself as a dread wraith. Desipte his attempt to make e a dread wraith as well, the fates did not the plan and intervened on my behalf. One less black robe means the world is one more bit safer. We grabbed what we could and Ollie and I bugged out with pockets overflowing with loot. Sameera grabbed the fookers body and some dargon parts and went back to the Imperial City.

Carlas and Somalith- Goblin fuel to the PR fire.

DM Josh

TKW, Guen, Cornelius, Gram Z, Maiyri

*Recieved message that emperor from Carlas, Carlas himself, was heading towards smaller town of Somalith via wagon

  • Discussed several plans of attack, it was decided to recruit Semolith’s leader, Roberts, winning hearts and minds
  • Traveled to Semolith, went to the town hall to negotiate with town’s mayor, when the party was ambushed! Party was attacked by some sort of human mage, who summoned celestial octopuses!
  • Succeeded and defeated the octopus! However, the mage escaped and turn invisible. As he left, he said " You did a good job Luna, next time we’ll catch them all!"
  • Got a meeting with the town leader, he cited that he would like to see the Gnomegeddon and make his decision informed about which pirate he wants to side with at that point. The leader will need to travel to the Gnomegeddon in 10 days time to visit and tour.
  • After this, the team the team brainstormed positive PR tactics and found out that goblins were ravaging the town. We went and destroyed 7 goblins and 2 bug bears and returned all of the belongings that were stolen from the town’s folk after we had a parade to celebrate the safety of the town and increase public approval ratings. We went back to the town leader and he thanked the party for dealing with the goblins, asking if we could help come again.
  • Continued PR efforts will be necessary, ESPECIALLY FROM THADDEUS. ESPECIALLY.
Tower of Terror Part One
Send me an angel

Thursday July 30th, Evening Game
DM: Jared
Objective: FInd out where the super teleport scroll goes
Loot: None
Thadius (Justin)
Mitch (Dyllon)
Aurelia (Tierney)
Arcturus (Micheal)
Salty Pete (John)


  • Our group, Darwin (captain of the Black Blade) and the Bag Lady used the teleport scroll that we found in the psionic lab
  • The destination looked like another lab, only it appeared to be high in the air
  • When we arrived, the captain and the bag lady were sent somewhere else by a less pleasant looking means than teleportation
  • Three elven simulacrum appeared and started casting powerful spells intended to capture or restrain us
  • Arcturus used a disintegrate, which caused the simulacrum to start casting lethal spells
  • Arcturus was disintegrated, the rest of us surrendered and stripped naked
  • We were held for a full day while the simulacrum waited for “The Spellweaver Nadalis” to arrive
  • Arcturus’ disembodied soul popped its head through the floor and informed us that the others (the Darwin and the bag lady) were on a lower level)
  • We grabbed our gear and Arcturus teleported us to the bottom of what turned out to be a tower
  • We found Darwin and the Bag Lady restrained alongside several fiends (it turns out they’re evil so we may have to rethink our alliance)
  • We started working our way up the thirteen floors of the tower
  • The first few floors were occupied by orcs, who we defeated fairly easily
  • Salty Pete decided to summon a greater air elemental to clear out the rest of the floors, which sped things along nicely
  • On one of the upper floors we encountered some really nasty daemons, who had been feeding off all of the death we were causing
  • Salty Pete summoned an angel to fight the daemons, and the group managed to defeat them
Dub crit and a hippo goes boom
DM Ryan, Friday Evening

Maiyri Seaskipper

So we show up after many attempts to reasonably discuss the tyrannical booty patrol situation. For the first time I hear the glorious cries of my party as they say “Maiyri, attack twerkulese.” And I’m thinking, don’t have to ask me twice.

I start out this fight with something better than an axe ( didn’t think that was possible), but no, I had a ship with 4, count them, 4 cannons! I begin to shoot up this monster hippo. Some erratic driving almost leads to a collision with Gram-z’s boat. Fortunately, mucho destruction occurred and the hippo snuck off to his secret lair.

Of course we adventurers followed the foul beast and found him with blood flowing out of his many wounds. I of course marched up and axed him how his day was. Two crits from my axe lead him to suffer over 200 damage. In my powerful and not at all squeaky halfing voice I yelled," take that fiend." It was all over from there. I may not have had the last hit, but his defeat truly was caused due to my extreme party loyalty and my dutiful fighting skills.

Oozing of the blood crystal
Dm Ryan wendi Jesse Lisa Jeremy Thursday night 35,000 xp

We had gotten reports of a new crystal protected by a flan like green ooze. We meet up with one of the towns. As we approached we found an ooze inside the room. As soon as we where in range Gwen launched a searing light. Miss wide we sprang into action. Rontor flanked right to attempt to destroy the crystal while Gwen layed down a blade barrier which killed the ooze. As the the blood inside the to ooze hit the the ground we heard screams coming from the village.

As we arrived back to the town we found the village under attack by undead after some religion check we found out the the blood in the ooze was to complete a blood ritual for a massive animate dead. After a moment of debate we decided to go to the towns barracks figuring if they could rally the militia they would help defend the town. We landed to find small skeletons and larger undead attack. After a hard fought battle we took back the barracks which in turn helped us take back the town. We then went to vondra and mackerel jacks to find was to help contain an ooze so that we don’t have a repeat of the tragedy of findale.

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