Rontor, Guen, Cornelius and Thadeus
I volunteered to go to the onyx mines with the the one that grows larger, and the two little funny men. We landed on the island and ran into a hallow serpent. While the kidlike funny men and the one that grows large buffed, I hit the serpent until it was about to collapse. Then the stupid large one swooped in, stole my kill, and acted like he had worked so hard. Sigh….But it’s okay because I was able to disarm the monster and take the arms back with me for Gram-Zee. As we carried on, we were stalked by an extremely shy horse. it would have been nice to have a horse so my shoes wouldn’t have become so damaged, but the insensitive oaf of a dwarf was too impatient to let the funny little childlike men take care of the tracking. We finally arrived at the mine entrance where the kids and one that grows larger argued about how we were going to go in.. I suggested light and just go, but only Gram-Zee seems to have as much sense of adventure as I. When we finally agreed that I was right, we entered the cave. We encountered two golems, and for some reason the oaf a dwarf took an awful long time to break them. If that wasn’t enough, I waste too many spells trying to heal the stubborn imbecile. If that wasn’t enough, the golems were wearing bandoleers of hands. Once the bandoleers broke the creepy hands started crawling under their own volition. Creepy is a mild description as the thing grabbed a hold and would not let go. It was squeezing and it hurt and stuff. There isn’t enough alcohol in a bar to clean the filth off. Wiggle and daggers, daggers and wiggles and the oaf finally stepped up to do his damn job.
Once we dispatched with the golems we needed to go further into the mines to investigate further. The cute kids greased the wheels and axles and convinced the oaf to make himself useful and push our cart. Better than any ride I have ridden before is all i am saying. I have done the flying gliders thing, I have done other flying stuff, I have done all kinds of rides but this mine cart experience with hair in the wind, the kids screaming and holding on for dear life. I was worried one of us would toss our cookies do to the extreme speed and such, but the dancing bard calmed out stomachs enough that my outfit was saved from certain pukage thank Desna. The oaf managed to defeat several more golems. At first I was impressed until he showed his lack of adventure yet again by not opening the door of a room that was completely destroyed. Probably destroying very valuable information. For the sake of Desna, what does he think that raise dead pot is for. It’s to throw caution to the wind, and be invincible. We did however manage to get a lot of the black shiny bling that we came for.
We took our onyx bling to the worshipers of the God of the Undead. One of the kids bragged all the way there that he was an amazing at wheeling and dealing, only to find out that he may be more of an oaf then the one that grows large. Gram-Zee or Maiyri would have done a much better job of negotiations. We could have used Gram-Zee’s charm or Maiyri’s wonderful “asking” abilities. I must make a mental note to try to go with them on their next adventure so that they can do it correctly next time. In the mean time I am off to buy new shoes and a new outfit yet again.