So we show up after many attempts to reasonably discuss the tyrannical booty patrol situation. For the first time I hear the glorious cries of my party as they say “Maiyri, attack twerkulese.” And I’m thinking, don’t have to ask me twice.
I start out this fight with something better than an axe ( didn’t think that was possible), but no, I had a ship with 4, count them, 4 cannons! I begin to shoot up this monster hippo. Some erratic driving almost leads to a collision with Gram-z’s boat. Fortunately, mucho destruction occurred and the hippo snuck off to his secret lair.
Of course we adventurers followed the foul beast and found him with blood flowing out of his many wounds. I of course marched up and axed him how his day was. Two crits from my axe lead him to suffer over 200 damage. In my powerful and not at all squeaky halfing voice I yelled," take that fiend." It was all over from there. I may not have had the last hit, but his defeat truly was caused due to my extreme party loyalty and my dutiful fighting skills.